At-Need
Disposition
Instructions
Introduction
We are sorry for your loss – we realize this is a
difficult time for you. You
are probably exhausted, grieving and confused and now you will be
expected to make some very necessary, possibly expensive choices and
decisions. Please don’t
hesitate to ask for help. There
is most likely a family member or friend that would be willing to help
you make the many decisions and arrangements that will be required.
Hopefully the deceased has left some instructions.
If not, you will be asked to try to put yourself in their place
and make the best decisions possible based on your knowledge of the
person.
Feel free to copy this page and paste it into a word
processing file so that you can take time to read, comprehend and
discuss its contents with a trusted family member or friend.
Budget
Considerations
If money is no object, we suggest you call the closest
funeral home; perhaps a funeral director will even come to
your home and help you with all the details.
The following information will help you to understand what
decisions will be required of you so that you can make them in the
comfort of your home – without the pressure of a funeral sales person.
If, however, finances are an issue, the following
instructions will help you to make the necessary arrangements as
inexpensively as possible. Keep
in mind that in most cases you will be expected to pay for everything in
full when or before the services are rendered.
You will first want to find out if there are any
pre-need funeral arrangements, life insurance policies, funeral trusts,
payable on death funeral accounts or savings accounts earmarked for
funeral expenses in the deceased’s name or if veteran’s benefits are
available (see below). You
will then need to decide on a realistic budget.
Funeral homes are required by law (in most states) to
quote prices over the phone, but if the task of calling is too much for
you to handle right now, ask for help.
The following information will guide you through the many
decisions that need to be made and help you to understand your rights
and responsibilities prior to making the calls.
We suggest that you read through this entire document before
calling a funeral home, whether money is an issue or not.
You can save a great deal of money by comparison shopping.
Veterans
Benefits
Veterans with an honorable discharge may be
eligible for burial benefits, which includes a burial plot (no grave
liner required), opening and closing of the grave, marker, flag, playing
of taps and perpetual care of the gravesite.
The family is responsible for removal of the body from the place
of demise and arranging for transportation of the body in a casket to
the nearest National Cemetery that has space available.
Transportation by a funeral home can cost $2.50 per mile.
You can purchase a casket on line to be delivered, often
overnight, for much less than from a funeral home – about $800.
(Remember, the funeral home is usually restricted by law from
charging a handling fee if you purchase a casket from someone else.
Also remember that if you call a funeral home to remove the body
from the place of demise and transport it to a National Cemetery, they
can charge you a “non-declinable fee” which could be as much as
$1,500.) Embalming is NOT
required (unless a viewing is requested) – refrigeration will preserve
the body until burial just as well.
Be sure to ask the funeral home, or whoever handles the body,
EXACTLY how much it will cost and what is included.
A cash burial benefit may also be available for burial
of a veteran in a private cemetery, or perhaps even for cremation.
While spouses of veterans may be eligible for certain burial
benefits in a National Cemetery, it is not always possible for next of
kin to be guaranteed a burial plot next to the veteran.
You will need the deceased’s social security number
or service number so their service and status can be verified.
Benefits
change – check http://www.cem.va.gov/
for current benefits and instructions, or call
1-800-827-1000.
Some local cemeteries offer a comparable veteran’s
burial deal; however, they will undoubtedly try to “upsell” you and
offer burial space for other loved ones – which is fine, if other
family members desire to be buried next to the veteran, and are willing
to pay the extra money. You
may also need the veteran’s discharge papers.
Just be VERY careful to read all the details and restrictions on
such deals.
Federal
Trade Commission Funeral Rules You Should Know
(Note: Statements
in parentheses are mine.)
·
Funeral homes must give out prices over the phone. (Prices
vary greatly throughout the country – inquire carefully!)
·
All funeral establishments must
provide on demand a General Price List (GPL), Casket Price List and
Outer Container Price List. (They do not necessarily have
to mail them to you.)
·
The GPL must disclose that embalming
is not usually required by law.
·
Before making any
contract, a funeral home must present an itemized statement of
final choices to the consumer.
·
That statement must disclose any
fees charged for “cash advance” items (i. e. printing, flowers,
etc.).
·
No funeral home may charge you a
body storage fee during usual funeral transactions –
only after 4 or 5 days.
·
You have the right to choose an
alternative (less expensive) cremation container
(cardboard-type container) – a casket is not required.
·
You may purchase a casket anywhere
you like, and the funeral provider may not charge an extra
fee if you do (the best prices can be found on the Internet).
·
It is a violation of the Funeral
Rules to claim that embalming or caskets will preserve a
corpse.
·
Funeral homes may not lie about
state laws (It’s easy to guess why that provision was put into
the Rules!).
·
You do not have to
purchase any goods or services you do not want, but you are required to
pay the “Non-Declinable Fee” (see below).
IMPORTANT NOTES
The Federal
Trade Commission passed the Funeral Rules in 1982 and they went into
effect in 1984; various revisions have taken place throughout the years.
Each state may adopt and/or adhere to these rules – most do
both.
“Non-Declinable
Fee” – Funeral homes
have the right to charge a “non-declinable fee” – the amount of
which they may determine, and which is often as much as $1500 (or even
higher in some cities); you must pay this fee, regardless of the
funeral “products” you choose.
It is supposed to be designated on the GPL as
“Basic Services of Staff”, which is defined as the time and
effort necessary to plan the funeral, obtain permits and collect the
obituary and death certificate information.
Be sure, before agreeing
to anything, that you understand all the charges on the itemized
statement of final choices. Ask
specifically if the non-declinable or Basic Services of Staff fee is
included in any package deal you are offered.
Cemeteries
are not governed by the Funeral Rules, however, many do adhere to them.
Your First
Decision: Burial, Cremation
or Donation?
Cremation
– Least expensive, less effort – costs $250 to $1,000.
Burial
– Costs $1,500 to $10,000. The
average funeral and burial in the US today runs about $8,000.
Body
Donation
– Can be inexpensive if there
are no charges for transportation (about $2.50 per mile), preliminary
embalming (about $350), and/or the “non-declinable fee” (varies
greatly) isn’t charged, although it usually is.
Organ
Donation
If organ
donation is to be considered, it needs to happen almost immediately
after death. After the body
is declared brain dead, it’s put on a respirator until the organs are
removed, in order to keep everything as fresh as possible.
You can bequeath some or all of your organs and tissues for
transplantation. Almost
anyone of any age can be a tissue donor.
Suitability criteria varies depending on the tissue.
The family or next of kin (Healthcare Surrogate, spouse, adult
child, parent, grandparent, adult sibling, guardian or other responsible
person) will be asked to consent for donation and specific medical
criteria will need to be met. The
donor family is never paid for any donation, as it would be a violation
of federal and state laws.
Organ
donation should not interfere with or delay the funeral arrangements;
however, it is important to let your funeral home of choice know of your
desire to donate. The body
can be carefully reconstructed and a viewing may be held, if desired.
Most
religions support and consider donation as an act of charity.
It is a way to affirm the generosity and goodness of the
deceased.
Body
Donation
You can donate an intact corpse to a medical school,
specifying (if you wish) that it be used in anatomy classes or for
scientific research, if they are accepting donations. (The body cannot be donated if certain serious or
communicable diseases are present at death, or if death was caused by
crushing injuries. Nor,
generally, can the body be donated if an autopsy has been performed.)
Organ donation may also disqualify the donation.
Be sure to ask. Usually,
the deceased must have attained the age of eighteen before dying.
The next of kin may donate the body without any pre-death
approval of the deceased. A
special embalming process is required. The body is retained for a period ranging from six
months to two years. After
that time, if previously arranged, the body or cremains will be returned
to the loved ones for final disposition.
You may be required to pay for the cremation at that time or most
probably, the burial expenses.
Every state and school has different laws and
procedures concerning body donation.
Call the medical school closest to where the death occurred and
ask them what their procedure is on “body donation”.
Some will require that a funeral home be involved to transport
the body, file the death certificate and other permits and do the
preliminary embalming. Call the “Funeral Homes” in your local
“yellow pages” and ask them their price and procedure for handling a
body donation. As
previously mentioned, donation can be inexpensive if you are not
required to pay transportation expenses (which could be as much as $2.50
per mile), expenses for preliminary embalming at a local funeral home
(perhaps $350), and that “non-declinable fee” (which varies
greatly). From what I was
able to learn, it appears that such charges are the rule rather than the
exception.
In Florida you can call 1-800-628-2594 to discuss
details and current availability.
Body donation resources by state: http://www.med.ufl.edu/anatbd/usprograms.html
Choices/Expenses
for Cremation or Burial
Moving the Body
·
It is against the law to transport a
body without a permit! Call
911 or your hospice worker before doing anything.
A physician must determine the cause of death and sign the death
certificate, in some cases before a body can be transported anywhere.
If the deceased is under hospice care, they will take care of all
that business. Talk to them
about it before the death, if possible.
·
If for some reason you desire to
transport your dear departed by yourself, be aware that there are a lot
of possible legal and procedural complications and that such a desire is
not “usual”. Call your
county coroner’s office for instructions.
Embalming
·
Embalming is not
required by law and does not significantly delay the decaying process.
·
Refrigeration by
itself slows the process sufficiently to accomplish disposal.
·
Embalming may be
required if the body is to be transported by air, bus or train.
·
Embalming is
usually required by the funeral home if viewing is requested.
·
Embalming usually
costs about $350. There is
often no charge for refrigeration.
Viewing
·
A viewing will
significantly increase funeral costs.
·
Viewing of the
body, by family and/or others, may take place before and/or at the
funeral or memorial service, if desired.
·
Remember, funeral
homes have the right to require embalming if viewing is requested.
·
Additional
viewing fees are usually charged to rent the funeral home space.
·
If cremation is
planned, a casket can usually be rented for a viewing.
·
Some funeral
homes will allow the next of kin to see the body informally without
embalming or a charge. Be
sure to ask about any charges.
Visitation
·
Differs from
viewing in that the body is not usually present. It is basically an opportunity for friends to show support
for the family before the funeral.
·
Additional fees
are charged if held in a funeral home.
·
If visitation is
desired, hold it at a free venue to save money.
Funeral/Memorial Service
·
A funeral home is not the only
option as to location for a funeral – just the most expensive.
·
Funerals can be and often are held in free venues such as
community rooms, parks, at the beach, at home, churches (donations are
usually expected), or graveside (could be a charge) – just about any
place the loved ones find meaningful.
·
Having the body
present at the funeral (“open or closed casket”) will increase the
cost considerably.
·
Possible
alternatives to the traditional funeral service include inviting
attendees to share their favorite stories about the deceased, to recite
examples of the impact the departed had on their lives, or simply to
speak a word or two that they feel most accurately describes the
deceased. A slide show, Power Point presentation, or display of
pictures of the life of the deceased can also be shown.
Celebrant or Funeral Officiant
·
This can be a
minister, priest, friend or family member – whomever you wish.
An honorarium or donation (usually $100) is traditionally paid to
a minister or officiant, unless it is a family member or personal
friend. Using some of the
possible funeral alternatives above can reduce the responsibilities of
the officiant, thus possibly making it easier to get a family member or
friend to accept the responsibility.
Obituary submission/writing
·
Most funeral homes will (possibly
for a fee, but usually included in a package price) put together an
obituary and submit it for publication in the local newspaper.
Some newspapers also will, for a fee, write an obituary.
Some crematories also include this service in a direct cremation.
·
You must of course supply all the necessary information. (See Obituary Information below)
·
You can also
write and submit the obituary yourself. Be sure you have valid identification and proof of the death
in question when you take it to the newspaper!
Death Certificate
·
An
attending physician signs the death certificate, which is usually filed
in the county or district where the death occurred, where the body was
found, or in which it was removed from a public conveyance or vehicle.
·
The
death certificate must be filed before a burial permit can be issued.
The funeral home or crematory will usually perform this service,
or you can do it yourself.
·
You
will need certified copies of the death certificate for some financial
institutions, insurance companies and properties. Get several of these to meet any possible needs; they are
easier to obtain when originally filing than later on.
·
There
is a minimal charge for certified copies (about $7 each).
Memorials (hand-outs at the funeral/celebration)
·
Funeral homes offer a variety of
memorial cards, guest books, etc. for sale.
You can also purchase similar items at some stationery stores.
·
You can, if you
wish, create your own memorial, using a meaningful poem, piece of prose,
or letter, along with a picture of the deceased.
Cremation
Choice
So-called “direct cremation” is the least
expensive and complicated option.
The body is cremated in a “temporary/alternative container”
(particle board) and the “cremains” are placed in a container
provided by the family (or whoever).
A memorial celebration can be held in a public park or other free
venue, and the ashes can be scattered, buried somewhere other than in a
cemetery, or simply retained by loved ones.
In some communities, the whole thing can be accomplished for as
little as $250.
If the final
disposition is to take place at a distance from where the death
occurred, obviously, cremation would be the least expensive choice.
Look up
“Cremation Services” in the Yellow Pages of your area’s telephone
book(s). You will also find
cremation services listed under the “Funeral Home” category.
(“Crematories” usually only deal directly with funeral homes, so
that category probably won’t be helpful to you.)
Ask each one how much they charge for a Direct Cremation, which
usually includes:
·
Removal of the
body
·
Filing the death
certificate and other permits
·
Submitting the
obituary
·
A
temporary/alternative (cardboard) container for cremation
·
The cremation
·
Placing the
cremains in some sort of container or box
·
You pick up
cremains (mailed for an
additional fee)
Be sure to
ask exactly what is and is not included, and whether they charge a
“basic services fee” in addition to the price for the services
rendered. There may be an
additional charge for services rendered over the weekend.
Urn
You can
purchase an urn on the Internet, from a crematory or local funeral home,
or make one yourself! Any
sort of container that you find meaningful and proper is fine unless you
plan to bury the urn in a cemetery or place it in a columbarium. In that case, check with the cemetery to find out their
requirements.
Disposal of Ashes
Ashes can be spread or buried just about anywhere,
including at sea. Sea
burial will of course cost more if you have to hire a boat.
While the cremains may be buried in a cemetery or placed in a
columbarium niche, there is a charge for the space and for opening and
closing it, as well as for a marker and, often, for “perpetual care”
(maintenance). You can, of
course, keep the ashes yourself, or distribute them to various loved
ones in specially created jewelry available on the Internet and
elsewhere.
Burial
Choice
Ground
burial is the most expensive option and entails the following expenses:
Casket
Gravesite or mausoleum space
Document recording fees
(“doc stamps”)
Grave liner/vault
Fee for installing the
liner/vault
Grave marker
Fees for setting the grave
marker
Opening and closing of the
grave (extra on weekends)
Sometimes perpetual care
(maintenance)
Plus the funeral home
expenses
The average cost is between
$8,000 and $10,000.
Funeral Home
Call all of
the Funeral Homes in the Yellow Pages section of your area’s phone
book(s). Independent,
family-owned funeral homes will almost always offer the best price.
Be aware, however, that many previously family-owned
establishments have been purchased by large corporations, which change
very little about the establishment’s public appearance, other than
raising prices. Some
funeral homes also own cemeteries, which while convenient, is not
necessarily the least expensive way to go.
You will be amazed how much prices vary.
For the least
expensive burial option, ask the funeral director about the cost of an
immediate burial. They
will probably give you a package price, which will usually include (be
sure to ask):
Removal of the body
Filing
of the death certificate and other permits
Submitting
the obituary
Refrigeration
until burial
Transportation
to the cemetery
The casket
will probably be extra and prices vary greatly, so be sure to ask the
cost of their least expensive one.
Although cheaper caskets are available (see Caskets below), due
to time constraints and other circumstances, it may be worth it to you
to buy what they have to offer. Again, be sure to find out exactly what
services are included in any package deal.
(Remember, they are usually required by law to give you itemized
prices over the phone.) It’s
also possible to negotiate with them; for example, if a particular
funeral home is closer to your home, but a little more expensive than
another, call them back and ask them if they would be willing to match
the price quoted by the one farther away.
Some funeral homes charge extra for weekend funerals – be sure
to ask if it is an issue for you.
Note that not
all funeral homes have their own cemeteries. A funeral home “package” deal probably does not include a
cemetery plot and all the related requirements (see Cemetery below)
unless they tell you it does.
Caskets
First of all, find out if your cemetery of choice has
any restrictions concerning the type of caskets they permit. If you are
purchasing the casket through a funeral home, this is usually not a
concern; but if you acquire one independently, it’s important to find
out.
The least expensive place to buy a casket is on the
Internet. Many sites offer
them for as little as $800, and even less for particleboard containers.
The price usually includes overnight shipping to most major
cities, but it’s a good idea to make sure of that.
(Always be on the lookout for “hidden” charges!
And remember, funeral homes are NOT permitted to charge you a
handling fee if you supply your own casket.)
Caskets purchased from a funeral home may cost from two and a
half to thirteen times the wholesale price.
If you have the carpentry skills and the tools to do
so, you can make a casket yourself for even less money. They can be built of particleboard, metal or wood.
No material delays the natural decaying process – not even the
“sealer caskets” that are often promoted to do so.
Caskets can usually be rented for a viewing if
cremation is to take place later. Remember,
if a viewing is requested, embalming will probably be required, which
will add at least $350 to the overall cost.
Caskets as
low as $249: http://www.casketxpress.com/index.phtml
Cardboard
caskets: http://www.eltonstephenssales.com/index.htm
http://www.funerals.org/caskets.htm
http://www.funeraldepot.com/caskets1.htm
http://www.funeralplan.com/products/caskets.html
http://www.tributedirect.com
Make your
own: http://www.globalideasbank.org/natdeath/ndh6.html#SECTION218
Cemetery
Some funeral
homes also own cemeteries. These
combination establishments are the easiest for the consumer, but they
can be expensive. Again,
you can “let your fingers do the walking”; call the Cemeteries
listed in the Yellow Pages of your local phone book.
Ask if they will do an immediate burial (sometimes referred to as
a “direct burial”), and of course ascertain what is included (see
list above and Cemetery Call Sheet).
Be sure to ask if they have any restrictions about caskets and
markers.
Most cities
have a cemetery that may be less expensive than privately owned
establishments; however, they might not offer all the other services and
products required. Call the
City Clerk’s office to obtain information or referral to the proper
local authority. Also, many
churches have cemeteries for their congregations, but of course, it’s
usually necessary that the deceased be a member of that church.
This may not always be the case, however; depending on where you
live, it might be worth checking out.
There may be
a “cemetery broker” in your community who handles the resale of
cemetery property or you may be able to find gravesites for sale in the
classified ads in your local newspaper.
Grave Vault/Liner or Crypt
Most
cemeteries in the U. S. (except National Cemeteries) require a grave
liner or vault (a “box for the box”), or crypt (liner built for two)
in order to reduce the likelihood of the ground caving in when the
casket deteriorates (such an eventuality makes cemetery maintenance a
lot more difficult). Liners cost $300 and up, and are usually purchased
from the cemetery or the funeral home.
Crypts are
more expensive initially, but could save you money if there will be
another loved one to bury on top at a later date.
You will probably also save on the grave site expense as the
caskets will be stacked one on top of the other with a divider between.
There is
often an extra charge to place the vault or crypt. Be sure to ask. Ask
for their least expensive option – no one sees it and it does nothing
but help them with their maintenance.
Grave marker
Grave markers
can be purchased from the cemetery, funeral home or directly from the
monument maker. Most
cemeteries have rules about what type of marker can be placed (flat,
upright, raised or angled). Be
sure to check with the cemetery before purchasing one from someone else. They are fashioned from a variety of possible materials
(various types of stone, metal, etc.) and start at about $350. A hefty fee is often charged to set the marker whether you
purchase it from the cemetery or elsewhere.
Call
Sheets
These Call
Sheets are a convenient way of recording the information you acquire
when you make your phone calls. Remember,
there is no reason to be uncomfortable about asking for prices –
funeral establishments are required by law in most states to give them
to you on the phone. Compare
prices, and don’t hesitate to haggle!
If you are given a package price, check off what is included on
the Call Sheets. Be sure to
ask if there are any additional charges.
(Feel
free to copy and paste the following into a Word Document for your use.)
Final Decisions/Choices
Body
Donation
Organ
Donation
Cremation
Authorization signed
Return
ashes to (name):
Pick up ashes
Mail ashes (address):
Final
ashes disposal:
Burial
Casket
description (color, material, budget):
Embalming (Yes or No)
Cemetery:
Graveside
service
Grave
marker inscription:
Pallbearers
(at least 4):
Hearse to Cemetery
Funeral car(s) for family (how many people):
Viewing
Family only
Public
Where:
Visitation
Where:
When:
Memorial/Funeral
location and address:
Memorial/Funeral
Date ____________________________ Time:
Officiant 1st
choice:
2nd choice:
Flowers
Type/color:
Charity in lieu of flowers:
Which charity:
Music Preference:
Memorial
handouts
Purchase (who, where):
Create
own (who):
Guest
book (who):
Other funeral/memorial requests
Obituary Information
Name of
deceased:
Date of birth:
Age at time
of death:
Place of
death:
Schools:
Occupation:
Military
record (if applicable):
Any special
accomplishments:
Surviving
spouse:
Spouse’s
city of residence:
Surviving
children & city of residence:
Number of
grandchildren:
Number of
great grandchildren:
